Fugitives from a man as alluring as he is violent, Andrea Jarrell and her mother develop a powerful unusual bond. Once grown, Jarrell thinks she’s put that chapter of her life behind her—until a woman she knows is murdered, and she suddenly sees that it’s her mother’s choices she’s been trying to escape all along. Without preaching or prescribing, I’m the One Who Got Away is a life-affirming story of having the courage to become both safe enough and vulnerable enough to love and be loved.

I’m the One Who Got Away was named one of the Best Books of 2017 by Kirkus Reviews. Nominated for a National Book Critics Circle Award and a finalist for several other awards, the book appeared on many 2017 must-read lists with The Today Show calling it "one of the most buzzed about books of Fall 2017." Jarrell’s essays have appeared in the New York Times “Modern Love” column, Harper’s Bazaar, Literary Hub, Narrative Magazine, the Washington Post, and many other sites, journals, and anthologies. She earned her BA in literature at Scripps College and her MFA in creative writing and literature at Bennington College. A Los Angeles native, she currently lives in suburban Washington, D.C.

Reviews

“. . . reminiscent of Joyce Carol Oates. The work’s lasting message is that love, like Jarrell’s prose, is both painful and beautiful. A stunning series of recollections with a feminist slant.”

— Kirkus Reviews STARRED REVIEW

“A courageous, daring, and unforgettable memoir about balancing the feeling of safety with seeking love, ‘I’m the One Who Got Away’ is one of 2017’s most sensational new memoirs.”
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— A Redbook Fall Book Pick

“. . .one of the most buzzed-about books of fall.”
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— The Today Show

“I was enthralled. Andrea Jarrell is a stunning writer, moving deftly through decades in near-cinematic prose (seriously: somebody make this book into a movie!). ”

— Megan Stielstra, The Wrong Way to Save Your Life and Once I Was Cool

“Jarrell writes powerfully about coming of age in the shadow of domestic violence and her growth as a spouse, parent, and daughter. How she successfully navigated her responsibility to her children as well as her desire to know her father may be of interest to readers who wish to explore boundary-setting in their own families.””

— Library Journal

“Stunning debut . . . an insightful, chilling peek inside the relationships we inhabit and the ways in which we carry them with us.””

— Town & Country Magazine

“Jarrell has composed a collage of the people she used to be, to create a portrait of the woman she is — self-aware and unafraid. She gives the rest of us approaching our 50s hope that the best is yet to come.”
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— Los Angeles Review of Books

“Brave, clear-eyed, compelling and powerful, I’m the One Who Got Away is a riveting story of love and survival. Andrea Jarrell is an uncommonly fine writer whose gritty realism is matched by the rigor and elegance of her prose. This is a wonderful debut.” ”

— Dani Shapiro, author of Hourglass and Still Writing

“ Beautifully told with great wisdom and clear-eyed courage, Andrea Jarrell has mapped her personal journey in life—the fears and obstacles and losses as well as the joys and comforts of love and finding her own sense of home. I could not put it down.”

— Jill McCorkle, author of Life After Life and Going Away Shoes

“Andrea Jarrell’s beautiful memoir—her adventurous yet protective single mother; insinuating father/stranger; friends and encounters, lovers and spouse, templates of what she must move beyond, accept, or embrace to become bravely herself—is as riveting as a mystery and as filling as a feast.”

— William O'Sullivan, Washingtonian magazine